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I no longer swallow my mouthwash in the morning to make it through the day...but only because I ran out of mouthwash and substituted Jack Daniels. |
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I know what game they're playing. It's called 'silly buggers'. Well, I can play that too. - paraphrased from "Good Omens", by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. |
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The rumors of my death have been slightly exaggerated. |
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How long have you worked here? It honestly took us that long to break your spirit? Seriously we're getting old...the next rep that gets a job I'm going to flat out tell them, "Welcome to the company. There is no God." |
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Christiana Care put a fifty dollar bill I owe them into collections. Seriously? $50? They can kiss my CAT-scanned ass at this point. |
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I have been sick for the last 3 days...literally at death's door. If you continue to piss me off, I will drag you through that door so you can see what it looks like. |
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You should go mad with power. Don't go mad without power...it's no fun since no one gives a damn when you do. |
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It has vampires in it, and they don't sparkle. By definition, it is a good movie. |
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"Love" is, in fact, a four letter word. |
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"How do I sleep at night, you ask? Naked, next to a beautiful (also naked) woman. Thanks for asking." |
