|
Two of the bridesmaids were my cousins, and they're pretty hot. I didn't try to hit that though because my girlfriend was with me. |
|
"Their online store is a nightmare: it's like the nightmare an actual online store would have, it's like if an online store were looking into a mirror while its fucking face melted away and the only thing that could staunch this horror was the eventual liquefaction of its optic nerve." - Penny Arcade Wisdom |
|
A girl asked me the other day where Nicaragua was and I said 'Central America'. She said "Oh so it's like around Kansas somewhere?" I see a brass pole and body glitter in her future...
|
|
Don't blame me if you can't get a decent job. I purchased a perfectly good pair of boobs for you, and if you don't know how to use them then I suggest you consult a good hooker for some pointers. |
|
I wonder if he finds it difficult to be a prick with EVERY SINGLE FUCKING BREATH? Does he go home to his wife and say "Sorry honey, I'm too tired for sex tonight...I'm exhausted from being a prick all day long." |
|
"When I need a new password I let my daughter go fucking crazy nuts on the keyboard. And then I say whos my little hash function? Who is it? She knows who." - Penny Arcade on Strong Encryption Techniques |
|
Yes, you're correct. The new dress code does in fact put me in the proper mood. The last time I dressed like this I was attending a funeral. |
|
The rapes will continue until morale improves. |
|
The frequency at which I post new quotes is inversely proportional to the amount of regular trim I get. |
|
Listen, I know that you've made mistakes in the past. I'm different though...I'd be your favorite mistake. |
