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Divorce Countdown: -369 days
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"New Zelda, New GoldenEye, New Kirby, New Metroid, New Kid Icarus, New 3D shit, no glasses, Santa Claus is real, he's in our booth, and he's giving out fucking handjobs. Nintendo, bitches! We out." - Penny Arcade paraphrasing Nintendo's spiel at E3 |
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Our new data replication service: monkeys will manually copy your data and pass it on to midgets using post-it notes, and they will drive your data to somewhere else, where blind monks will enter it into a computer and put it online. |
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I love the fact my boss's first reaction when reading my emails is to check and see who the other recipients are in case he has to do damage control. |
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All my bets are on Orthodox Judism, baby. In other words, I'm all in with a pair of sixes. |
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I keep forgetting...which is the good one, wheat or chaff? |
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Right, this isn't going to be big on dignity. - Matt Smith, "Doctor Who" |
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When you first write down the words "I love you" to a woman you're seeing, she will invariably keep that piece of paper for the rest of your relationship and bring it out whenever she is feeling particularly romantic, or alternatively pissed off at you. It does not matter what this phrase is written on - a stained napkin even - it will ALWAYS be saved, and possibly framed. Women consider this normal and acceptable behavior for some reason. |
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I no longer swallow my mouthwash in the morning to make it through the day...but only because I ran out of mouthwash and substituted Jack Daniels. |
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I know what game they're playing. It's called 'silly buggers'. Well, I can play that too. - paraphrased from "Good Omens", by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. |
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The rumors of my death have been slightly exaggerated. |
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